The Flowers I Deserve by Tamara Jerée

Weeping luna is as common as wildflowers, and in the northern kingdoms, assassination by its floral poison is rampant. Those born with immunity are coveted by heretic clerical orders and the endangered aristocracy—and shunned by a superstitious society. One so gifted, or cursed, Carlotta embraces her newfound power as the currency to deliver her from a land in the grip of drought. Luxury and beauty, glimpsed only through the portal of her late mother’s letters, become an easy trade to consider in exchange for her life. And looming always in her imagination is the symbol of it all—King Emelia, a demon who rose to power under mysterious circumstances. Rumor claims her to be a monstrous woman like the poison girls who serve and adore her. Yet in the warnings of evil, Carlotta sees her own reflection. Once initiated into the world of sensual indulgence and ancient magic within the castle walls, however, Carlotta finds that not even a king’s devotion is enough to sate her. As the castle’s ghosts coalesce, Carlotta must also confront what her own dead want for her and, even at the heights of her seduction, what she truly wants for herself. The Flowers I Deserve is an FFF erotic gothic fantasy novel with lyrical prose.

Adult • Fantasy/Romantic and Erotic • Fantasy/Dark • Diversity Representation/LGBTQ+/Own Voices • Diversity Representation/BIPOC/Own Voices

Content Warning: death, depression, grief, self-harm, animal bite, blood, injury detail, explicit sexual content, sexual relationships between a king and her servants, obsessive relationships, voyeurism, knife play, unnegotiated bondage, and piercing